Poems
by Imdeletingthisaccountdonmindme
Summary: I just decided to make all my poems into one big thing...that way it wouldn't take up room on my profile :P Rated T for Things XD
1. If you Pull the Trigger

**A/N: **Okay, I wrote this, like, a really long time ago...so I decided to put it up because I thought it was worth doing. I used to do a lot of stuff like this, but personally I never thought I was very good at writing poetry TT_TT

This one is about my second thoughts from suicidal attempt. It sucked...and I'm starting to think I chickened out on that...but I digress. I suppose I'm comfortable enough sharing this now...but it's not very good, bleh XD god I'm a downer...

P.S. I used "..." To separate parts that need separated :) lol

* * *

Sitting in a small corner...alone,

no one's in my head...no one's home,

The metal touches my temple, glowing with happiness,

While I sit here, sulking with sorrow,

I pull the trigger, with thoughts of my love,

Flying away, like a dove.

...

I find myself in darkness,

I'm finally dead,

I don't think I'm coming back,

I think I shot my soul from my head,

I remember my promise, but then soon forget,

Because at the end of the tunnel, I'll get hit,

I'll go to hell and stay in hell,

May peace rest in thy dead.

I hope the nightmares aren't worse down there,

I hope I don't writhe in the bed...

...

I wake up shaken,

Not knowing what happened.

I look at my surroundings,

And see that I'm bounded.

This room, this house,

I can't leave it all,

But more importantly,

It'll be my family's downfall,

I'll pull the trigger later,

Right now life is good.

...

This'll be my secret,

Mine and mine alone,

So that nobody may find out,

No one may take my black throne,

I'll have to be quite,

Keep it under my hood,

For if I don't,

Nothing will be good.


	2. Stuck with Nobody

Bleeeeh, I've been writing more...and I consider some of them good, so I'm putting them on . Best idea ever, right? Well...I have to vent feelings somehow XP

* * *

**Stuck With Nobody **

Why am I hated, what have I done?  
What the hell happened to "You're not the only one."?

I hate this place and it hates me.  
Yet I can't help but think I won't leave it be.

I hate not being able to talk, to say what I feel.  
Because people laugh, people joke, people act like you're a meal.

I hate caring for people, because they only put you down.

And nobody cares anyway.

Yes, I'm stuck with Nobody down here in this cell.  
It's worse than those people, it's worse than this hell.

I hate having people try and care...it doesn't solve the problem.

I see things.

I hear things.

Yet nobody hears a sound.

Yes.

YES

Nobody hears them, all taunting me. Nobody hears their cruel comments and wishes.

Kill them.

Bleed them.

Bite them.

Eat them.

Why do they ask me to? Why can't they do it?  
Oh yeah...they aren't real, and Nobody knows shit.

Yes, Nobody knows what it's like.  
Nobody can hear them, these delusions that give me head aches and cause me to flinch.

Yes, Nobody can see and hear them.

I guess I'm stuck with this person, this Nobody.

Because this Nobody happens to be me.


	3. Roses

If you can guess what 'Roses' stand for, I'll give you a cookie XP

* * *

**.:Roses:. **

Roses torture, roses tease.  
Roses hate, roses please.

Roses are people, alive or dead.  
Roses are pretty, leaving thoughts in your head.

Roses are there, no reason to be.  
Roses are here, because they're free.

Roses are strawberries, red and friendly.  
Roses are scorpions, small an deadly.

Roses are roses, face the facts.  
Roses are reminders, reminding of the past.

Roses won't leave, roses won't stay.  
Your roses suck, they're dead and decayed.


	4. Alone

Body undead,  
Feeling untuned,  
Can't see through blindness,  
Can't feel through gloom.  
It all crashed, and now my palace is gone.  
How the hell didn't I notice when everything went wrong?  
Where is she? Why won't she speak?  
That other girl keeps kissing her feet.  
I hate this, everything is wrong.  
And from now on, I think I'll be alone.

* * *

Okay...so I apologize for my melodramatic flip out when I lost my computer. I now have to put things up from my IPod...then I have to sneak onto my mother's computer to finish editing it because my stupid IPod will not space correctly.

I will take that notice down when I buy another computer...more than likely in December :P

Anyway, this is about my best friend, Buru...she's leaning away from me. I already lost XBakuraX...I don't want to lose Buru-chan or Sara-chan. :( We'll probably never live out our childhood dreams...but I'll be damned to give up. My cruise to Mexico changed me. I can take anything this shithole town can throw at me...so bring it on.

P.S. for my followers reading, I'm sorry about the postpone of the stories I need to continue. I will have them up soon, with a few short side stories to keep you busy.


	5. You Don't Care

This is written for no particular reason...I just kinda felt like it. It doesn't focus on a specific person either, it focuses on three completely different people. I also wrote it in a way that Scroobius Pip would supposedly read it, so it may sound a bit daft if it's not read like that.

It's a bit long...but I think I did a pretty good job on this.

* * *

If I was nice enough to hand you my heart, would you take it?

Would you maybe stuff it and keep it as a shelf object, or use the words carved on it to gain publicity? Would you put it in a box, perhaps, allowing the dust to come up and turn it into a dead capacity? Or maybe you'd stomp it like you always do.

Maybe you regret the things that you do, but you'll stomp it and trample until it's no longer you.

You're the broken, the cracked, the damaged, the dead. I don't even know why I trusted you...I was tempted. You never once apologized, you never once complained. And in your own mind, I'm the same. Let me tell you something, "friend", I'm far from you. I'm not the wicked, bitter old shrew.

I didn't do what I've been pinned for and I most certainly didn't do it to them. But even now, as I say this, you don't care.

So if I handed you my heart, out of niceness, of course, I seriously doubt you'd cherish it. You'd more likely devour the contents with greed. And probably spit it back out in my face for spite. But even now, as I say this, you don't care.

Then again, you change.  
Your personality pings with both sides of a prism. You like me one minute, and the position is switched in the next. I can see why this happens, you are light and I am dark. I have to wonder if that's how it fell apart. I tell you things you don't want to hear, I help with your problems even if you're not here. I do this for you, and you don't pay mind. But of course, why would you? You're not mine. As much as I miss it, I still don't miss it. I still hate you more than you can imagine. I hate you like I hate myself, even more so myself. I love you more than myself...that's why I'm confused.  
And if I gave you my heart again, you would no doubt step on it and wait for the red juices of life to squish out. You would laugh and laugh and then notice me. You'd give me a small grin and laugh inevitably. I'd sit there with no emotion, because you already killed them. Then I would strike at you, and you'd say unfair. I'd laugh at you the same way you did me. I'd take a knife and stab you with three. I'd gut your body and let it slip through my fingers. I'd peel off your skin with your soul that still lingers. Then I'd laugh at you and see how you felt if you gave me your heart and I just jammed it and let it melt. I'd lick the blood off my knife and laugh some more. But even now, as I say this, you don't care.

I'll keep my thoughts to myself right now. I'll wait for someone else to come along that I want to live for. I'll give them my heart and they'll have the same choices.  
It just depends on what they do.  
And if they decide to take your road, I'll let myself be me, I'll let the beast come out, I'll make them bleed. I'll hang them by their guts and laugh again...though I already said that I would keep thoughts to myself. I'm not psychotic, I'm just a bit mistreated. But even now, as I say this, you don't care.

All in all, the question still remains. If I gave you my heart, no matter what way, no matter what it's been through, no matter what will happen, no matter what it's condition is, no matter what I've done, no matter how dark it is, no matter what.

_**What would you do?**_


	6. Being Yourself

I need a second, just a morsel of your time. Find a quiet place while reading this short lament, please. It will help you more than me.

Found a place? Good. Now put on some music...no, not usual music. YOUR music. Find the song that sings to your soul, the one that hits your core so deep, it's impossible not to feel the power of its sound. Now play this song. Put in head phones, or perhaps scratchy speakers, which ever you like most. Turn the music to a level of quiet, but a level of loud so that your thoughts may become clouded and clear at the same time.

Good, good, you've done well.

Now the magic.

Close your eyes and imagine your place. Mine is a ballroom...a sky blue and snow white ballroom. You'll see what I mean when you close your eyes, everyone has their place. You can't think, only see and listen and learn.

Now for your appearance and attire. Your appearance can change in your now trance state, and now you are you in your own world. In mine, I am small and skinny and lanky. I am the Alice in my world, the me. My hair is black and long with red streaks. My eyes are bright green with specs of the crimson red interwoven in the emerald. My eye shadow is black, my lipstick is black. My dress is puffy and, of course, black with red roses adorning it. Lace and frill make up the puff layers. The middle is a corset that ties tightly in the back, and hanging above the corset is my chest held in by the top of the dress. The shoulders of the dress are puffy as well, with lace at the end.

And now for the dancing. This dance is your dance, as my dance is my dance. It is what you FEEL, not think. Do not think the moves or else reality comes back. Do not bother to be careful while dancing, let yourself go. Let everything you feel out and onto the table, everything you need to feel in its place. I am now dancing with my prince or princess, my own mentally created demeanor of the person I want it to be. Dancing in circles, twirling at the violins elegantly. This is my world, mine to control. I sigh as the song ends. The person in front of me always smirks and bows and fades and leaves me wondering who.

And now open your eyes. Reality, what everyone fears and everyone loves. The reality of reality now makes you sick. You are no longer an ignorant bliss factor, but now know the truth. What could be isn't and what isn't could be.

Now close your eyes and think about your place...not feel this time, THINK. What was in your world, what does it tell you about you? Why not something else? Why not a rock concert in my world, why a ballroom?And how can you make this world reality?

Simple answer:

**Be yourself. **

* * *

Fixed it! :)

This is written purposely for what I like to do...and I'm not for sure why, but I've always seen a ballroom, the same ballroom. I daydream about this when I listen to music...like the steps above say. I don't recall ever dreaming about it when I sleep. Weird, right?

Anywah, what's your place?** I wanna hear what you people see**, because I want to see if people see different things. I don't doubt you guys will see the same things...

Alright, I'm gone again, safety and peace dawg


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